Lets blame Barack Obama for everything.
My wife lost her job. During the last three years there have been 8 rounds of layoffs in her firm. This new round came just the other day. While the loss in business was steady through the last few declining years, I think it’s only fair to blame Barack Obama for this. He has been in office for almost a month.
Furthermore, my property and school taxes have risen over the past five years. My state has been receiving less money from the federal government due to the tax cuts. My taxes have risen from $4,800 in 2003 to $7,400 this last year. When I pay my next bill this week, I will blame Barack Obama. He was in office when I received that new statement. It must be his doing.
My stock portfolio had gone from something substantial in 2002 to petty change. I know Barack Obama has only been in office less than a month, but he IS responsible for the plunge of the stock market. The day he took office was the same day I received my Merrill Lynch statement. While it may have gone out into the mail before he took oath, it still must be his fault. Everything is, isn’t it?
My house is worth considerably less than it was in 2005. I know, I know. There’s been no regulation in this market and people with the same amount of petty change to their name that I currently have in my stock portfolio were being approved for loans. It’s true that those loans were sold in group packages to my broker, Merrill Lynch, and were then multiplied many more times as derivatives. It’s also true that George Bush was a great friend of business and felt oversight was unseemly. Still, even though my house went up in value in the last week, I blame Barack Obama. He should have known he was going to be President and everything was going to tank. Shame on him.
That guy who beheaded his wife last week? Well, that’s Barack Obama’s fault. He should have intervened. How dare he hold his head up high after not making some effort to thwart that tragedy.
The hundreds of thousands who’ve died in Iraq. You guessed it. His fault. It’s his responsibility now, so he should bear the responsibility for the entire war, even though he was against it. President Bush couldn’t be responsible. He’s too good a man. As we all know, everything bad that happened to him in the first five years of his Presidency was really Bill Clinton’s fault. The Republican congress and senate with their majorities? Nah. They couldn’t stop it. It was the Democrats who bullied them into this war. At the very least they were complicit since all the evidence showed Saddam has WMD’s.
Got a parking ticket the other day. It’s not my fault I parked facing out in the parking slot instead of in. Damn that Barack Obama.
