One of the most significant lessons I learned in life was working at the deli counter at King Kullen when I was young. For two summers between college I had two different managers. One was Don, the other Donna.

Don was great. He dealt with everyone on a personal level, supported his crew when they made mistakes, and rather than getting angry or irritated, he was patient and redirected us when necessary. As a result, everyone wanted to please Don. We were all there on time, didn’t slack off, and also had fun.

The next summer, I got into the deli on time at 8:00am. By the time I put my apron on, it was 8:01. A woman whom I had never seen before tells me she is the new manager and then proceeds to berate me, at the top of her lungs, for being late. Flabbergasted, I told her I was there on time. She screams that on-time means having the apron on before 8:00. This was Donna. She ran the deli like she was running a military unit. She was harsh, covered her own ass and generally indifferent to others. While she eventually gained respect for me I never had the same for her. Those of us who worked there couldn’t stand her - and in a crunch she’d be lucky if any of us lent her a rope.

The lesson I learned was very simple. It’s easy to be an asshole and sometimes very complex being a good person - not just in managerial positions but throughout life. Which path do you take? The easy one or the hard one? That depends on the fiber of the person.

This brings me to Spencer Pratt, the arrogant, callous prick from The Hills and I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here. Here’s a little description from EW.com about his behavior on the second show:

Heidi Pratt, as she prefers to be known now — had the imagination to apologize for her husband’s egomaniacal, pathetically lame reality-show ranting by saying, “My husband is a very new Christian,” and therefore deserves to be forgiven.

and another regarding Spencer’s personal philosophy:

“If people aren’t hating on you, they don’t care, and if they don’t care, that means you’re not doing anything right.”

Every time I see this skeleton with hair my blood boils, but it’s not just because he’s an asshole and I don’t like assholes. It has more to do with his absolute embrace of the idea that being a prick and being ruthless (too strong an adjective for people like this) is the right way to be in order to achieve success and deal with everyone in life. Secondly, how people like him have distorted Christianity to serve their selfish, self-centered world. At first I questioned who this guy’s parent’s were that he would have such shallow values since my view of the world is very simple:

We’re all on this earth together. Empathy and charity are good things, not signs of weakness. Achieving success as a decent person is much tougher but in the long run is a worthy strategy and essential to the complement of your success. We live in a world completely out of balance, where some of us live well and others in squalor - and it’s not always because of their own doing. Lifting others up is a good thing. That sorry excuse of survival of the fittest is an easy, cowardly attitude for those who’ve never had to struggle.

Spencer Pratt never learned any of this. He’s quick to complement himself on his indifference and how he manipulates others but, hey, being the dark side of one’s self is, well, easy. It requires no balance. It is very concrete. All you need to do is the opposite of what you’re taught. It’s the cowards way.

Sure. Some of this is him playing to the camera, but hardly all. This may be a result of his upbringing, but as a 20-year-old he’s only really known the Bush years - and the culture and distortion of religion that George W. Bush brought to this country is the very doctrine people like Spencer Pratt embrace. Thank God we’ve elected someone who reminds us that the world isn’t only about US. Some people - the dead-enders like Spencer - will never learn this and will continue to believe they are the better of us.

Verbal Paintball arrogance, Bush administration, Heidi Montag, Spencer Pratt, The Hills

There was certain etiquette you were taught as a boy and then as a young man that was just plain a given:

• Holding the door open for a woman, be it a dwelling or a car.

• Taking your hat off when entering a house.

• Standing when a woman gets up from or returns to a dinner table.

• Addressing someone directly when you talk to them.

• Saying “God bless you” after someone sneezes.

• Waiting until everyone has received their meal until starting.

• No cursing around women.

I’m still a young man, but over the years some of these guidelines have just plain disappeared. Kids routinely wear baseball caps inside homes, many times at the dinner table. Cursing around women is pretty standard. Holding a door seems optional.

What does get my goat these days is rudeness. Yes, I know I’ve created a blog where I encourage profane rudeness and aggressive comments, but this is cyberspace. I don’t really know you, you don’t really know me. It is, as the title suggests, Verbal Paintball. You may get hit, but it’s not permanent damage. In everyday life, I’d either hold the door for you or be generally courteous (as long as I received the same in return).

When I was younger I used work as a deli clerk in a supermarket. Every now and then, we would get a customer who felt the need to project the ugliness of his misery on you. Sometimes it would be in nasty complaints about the thickness or thinness of his Virginia ham, other times it would be a cursing rant over why the German potato salad had too much oil in it. As a clerk you had to be polite and take it. One of my greatest joys came one day when I was a customer at that same deli section and the person in front of me was berating one of my co-workers who was on duty that day. This arrogant bastard felt my wrath; I told him these clerks are there to serve him and his rudeness was unacceptable.

Well, not quite that way. More like, “Hey, asshole! Who the fuck do you think you are? You want an order, make your damn order politely and shut the hell up! You want to be rude little dickhead, go somewhere else! She’s not standing there serving you to listen to you sound like a fucking prick!”

I was a bit taller than him, which helped - and he backed down and shut up.

Today, my pet peeve are people who can’t turn their fucking cellphones off long enough to treat people behind the counter with some respect. You want to place an order? Shut the fucking phone off! You’re not dealing with an animal here, you’ve got a person in front of you. Treat them with the same respect you’d damn well expect for yourself.

These are, of course, the same people who talk the loudest on their precious phones in the commuter trains, disrupting the calm most commuters would like at the end of the day. Instead, these pricks are talking loudly and having important conversations that can’t possibly wait, ike what’s for dinner.

Fuck you. I’ll tell you what’s for dinner. It’s a cellphone shoved way up your ass followed by a quick fist in the face? Still hungry?

Lifestyle, Verbal Paintball arrogance, common courtesy, etiquette, politeness, rudeness