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Posts Tagged ‘adoption’

Abolish adoption? How about minding your own f$!cking business.

April 12th, 2009

One of my biggest beefs revolves around assholes who not only want us to follow “their” values, but change law to do so. None is more obscene then the crusade by a lawyer named Lori Carangelo and her appeals to abolish adoption. This woman is a world class cunt. It is, unfortunately, the only word to describe someone who, due to their own personal issues, would attempt to thwart the joy many deserving children should have by finding a family that wants them, and the desires of many well-meaning parents-to-be who, due to many reasons, cannot have children genetically or have a place in their existing families that calls for another child.

Here’s a few choice “facts” you’ll find on the website of this bitch:

While many factors come into play with regard to criminal behaviors, the fact of the adoption, and Adopted Child Syndrome is purposely overlooked at trial because it is “politically incorrect” to explore adoption’s negative effects on the adoptee. In FBI statistics, 76% of the world’s serial killers are in the United States; 90% are male.

Serial killers have been a fascination for forensic psychologists who profile killers by their crime scenes. Separating this group from other adoptees who kill is the fact that they kill strangers. Researchers have noted that, “to an adoptee, everyone is a stranger.”

It has long been documented that former foster kids are overrepresented in America’s prisons….Example: “69% on inmates in California State Prisons were former foster children; 60% in Massachusetts were foster children” according to testimony on the Congressional Record. The same appears to be true of adoptees…. Example: According to FBI stats: “16% of 500 serial killers are adoptees.”http://foia.fbi.gov/foiaindex/foiaindex_s.htm and according to Dr. Mike Aamodt, Radford University, “14% of 225 serial killers are adoptees.”

Thankfully, there are those out there who are willing to expose Ms. Carangelo’s facts for what they are - pure bullshit. This from Sandra Hanks Benoiton’s blog:

What I found surprising is that Ms. Carangelo uses research on the “adopted child syndrome” to support her claims of adoptees mental health issues. The research she quotes is out of date…1953 to be exact. Twenty years later, the University of Washington observed a pattern of birth defects in unrelated children. The common denominator for all these kids was maternal alcoholism. Funny, no where on her site does Ms. Carangelo address the issue of FAS and how that diagnosis provides an adequate explanation for the mental health issues, problems with police and disrupted school experiences that whe blames on adoption. Nor does she discuss the percentage of alcohol affected children who are available for adoption because of neglect related to addiction.

If you dislike adoption, lady, don’t adopt. Because of your hateful personal need to apply legal means to this issue - and the prejudice and lies apparent from your website - you deserve to be publicly berated.

Lifestyle, Politics, Verbal Paintball , ,

Abortion after six weeks is murder…but before that, your choice.

February 28th, 2009

A six-week old fetus

From Associated Press

President Barack Obama plans to repeal a Bush administration rule that has become a flash point in the debate over a doctor’s right not to participate in abortions. The regulation, instituted in the last days of the Bush administration, strengthened job protections for doctors and nurses who refuse to provide a medical service because of moral qualms.

A Health and Human Services official said Friday the administration will publish notice of its intentions early next week, opening a 30-day comment period for advocates on both sides, medical groups and the public.

My wife and I spent the good part of seven years trying to have kids. After extensive tests, five IUI’s, IVF, Donor Egg IVF, pregnancy, miscarriage after 8 weeks, another Donor egg IVF that didn’t work, a final Donor egg IVF with intrevenous immunoglobin to control NK cells - and a full year and a half of waiting for adoption that never seemed to come - she got pregnant naturally.

In a word, we got lucky. Even our adoption program (which we sadly had to pull out of once the birth came too close to a potential referral) had all but shut down if we were to continue that path.

We used to meet couples who got pregnant after one try - others with several kids - and we know they will never understand how precious and lucky they’ve been that they did not go through what we did. In fact, many of our good friends today are folks we met during the adoption process. Having a child, any child, is truly a blessing and a gift. Not everyone should have one. Not everyone wants one. That’s all good, too. Whatever you want in your life or don’t is what makes us all unique.

Then there’s abortion. When I was younger, I didn’t give it much thought as an issue. I had never put myself in a position where a girlfriend ever needed one. I had friends who’ve gone through it, but I was not there to see the emotional aspect of their decisions. Overall, I stuck by the credo I always stuck by: Americans have the freedom to choose what they want in their lives. They have freedom to do what they want to with their bodies. They have the freedom to keep personal matters out of the hands of government.

After going through what I’ve gone through and learning a few things along the way about embryos, fetuses and the like, my opinion is…

moderately unchanged - save one caviat: I can’t approve of abortion beyond the first 6 weeks of life. At 6 weeks, it’s a super tiny tadpole - no real brain power, no control, about a 5th of an inch long - and not the creature you call a human. After 6 weeks, it’s a little different. You’re killing a lifeform that actually resembles a person.

I know. For those who are staunch pro-life advocates you might be saying, “Heartless asshole. You should know better. Life begins at birth and your logic is twisted.” Or you might use a word more potent than asshole. Nonetheless, I see your point, but this is one of those issues where emotions and logic have to meet. Abortion is murder - but so is stepping on an ant - so in order to meet the need for this freedom there has to be compromise.

It is still my belief that we should have a right to choose. In most areas of life, the personal issues and opinions of others should not abridge the freedoms we’ve come to treasure (we’ve seen too much of that in the past 8 years). In fact, those things that I firmly disagree with are generally the one’s I’m most adamant about supporting and feel it is the essence of being a good American citizen.

Living in a country where freedom is supposed to be a pillar, there will always be places where some disagree. Much of it these days seems to come down to religion, religious intolerance, people’s fear of what lies beyond and their need to control the world around them. Lets face it - if you knew for a fact that there was no afterlife, that we were simply intelligent organisms evolved from apes evolved from amoebas and all of this is just one giant petrie dish, where would abortion stand or not stand in this argument? Nowhere, actually. It would be a personal preference and nobody would be thrown in hell for it (because there would be no hell). But it’s hard for a pro-lifer to put themselves in that mindset.

So how about this - it’s nice that there are people who value life and are immovable regarding your position. Your actions, however, need to match your words. Unless you’re willing to adopt that baby you’re screaming so loud about and carrying your sign over - or willing to financially support organizations that will find parents for these children - you really should just shut up. As for myself, if I personally knew a girl who was dead set on an abortion, I would consider adopting her child. Wouldn’t even give it a second thought (well, maybe a second thought, but I would still do it). If that was the choice - and I was the barrier between this child being born or being aborted - I would jump in the ring and offer to parent. I know how great these little people are.

But if I could not adopt another, it is that person’s choice and their life as long as - for me - it comes in under the 6 week mark. After that, it really is murder in a different sense.

So - anti-abortionists - please run out to your local abortion clinic and offer to adopt a child or get to know a person who’s considering this choice. Don’t ridicule them. Just offer to raise their child. That is the way to make a difference on this issue. If you can’t or won’t do that, you really have no stake in this argument and need to shut up. And if you think your opinion is valid even if you’re unwilling to adopt a child or have a child at all - and just want to insert yourself into this argument with nothing at stake - it’s NOT valid, you’re self-absorbed, should shut up and stop wasting our time.

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